On what birthdays are all about

A POST-BIRTHDAY LITTANY (2010)

If you don’t feel special for the rest of your life, there would be always a day in a year that the whole day would be about you—your birthday.

The day wasn’t extraordinary. I just follow my usual routine robotically. I woke up, took a bath, ate breakfast, and left for work.

I wasn’t able to celebrate for my birthday. It was a Monday, a not-so-good-for-celebration day of the week. I had to go to work since I’ve been having a lot of absences lately. We weren’t entitled to a birthday leave yet. However, I was able to have a bit of a celebration the day before.

After four years, I was able to celebrate a little for my birthday. My mom cooked some food for me. I invited a few college friends, and the day went on so simple as that. There weren’t a lot of choices for something to feast on. There were no big boxes of gifts (in fact, I only got one present). There were no party poppers, no balloons (too elementary), and no after-parties.

Somehow, however, there are a lot of things I have to be thankful for.

I am now in my first year of entering the twenties. You might read this with disbelief, but yes, I have just graduated the teen years. I have been journeying for quite a long while now. I am lucky to have reached this time of my life. I didn’t have a good travel, you know.

My life, from before it was even started, wasn’t a good experience. We were once the happiest family one could have ever known. My brothers and I went to a good school, were both disciplined and given time to enjoy, had time for studying and for having fun, and were just the luckiest kids in town. We had cereals and milk every morning, and we expect boxes of toys in our stockings every Christmas morning.

Yet, things happen fast, and children weren’t allowed to meddle. We had no choice but to leave this life and went on to live in the other side of the world. We had ample food in our plate, but my mom had to work hard for it. I had no father, and obviously, I never felt how it’s like to have one. I don’t mind it, though. The difference of having one and losing it, and not having one at all is that, in the latter, you wouldn’t get hurt because you never felt how good having one was. There was nothing to miss or regret; I don’t know the feeling in the first place.

Still, we survived. I was able to graduate primary and secondary school. I entered college, enrolled under a program, and studied. I got into some organizations, which my mom and I used to argue about. Eventually, she was able to accept how badly I needed and wanted what I was busy doing in college. I learned, gained a lot of friends, and got some extra bonuses by the time I graduated college. There was my mom, who was so proud of what I have achieved, and there were my aunt and her family, who were always supportive to me. There were my mother-side grandparents who were happy to have seen what my mom worked for, and I also have my father-side grandparents who, even though they weren’t there, were proud as ever, too. There were my friends, my classmates and cograduates, and my mentors of four years, and there was I, finally closing one heavy chapter of my life.

And then, still feeling too childlike to work, I have to do something for a living. I applied for my first job days after graduation and grabbed the opportunity right away. From then on, I have been stuck in my station all day, getting the hell out of every paper I come across. Then, there was the routine.

They say I am lucky. Not everybody could have those things I have. Not everybody could achieve all those things I had in college.

I say I am not lucky.  Not everyone likes me. People sometimes look at me like I am a nobody. I have been rejected a lot of times, been a fool for things not worth all of it, been belittled even by my very seniors and mentors, and been prejudged like I were a criminal. I am not as good looking, buff, or rich as others. I didn’t have the things I wanted. I wasn’t liked by people I wanted to like me. I was unlucky like I am fated to be like that for the rest of my existence.

The night of my birthday, I had a little chat with my aunt. She was sharing some of the things she learned in her life. Long ago, she was my second mom, back when I was a little boy. We might have been apart as I grew, but we were always connected. More than a godmother, she has been my friend, just like now. I was talking to a friend who was imparting to me what life has taught her.

According to her, things in life, good or bad, are all the same. It’s how you pick them up that makes the difference. Life is a bargain of lessons, and we are free to choose and pick up the lessons we think could help us in our journey. So, look at things with all the positivity you could use.

When a friend left you, just consider the person as a good acquaintance. Don’t dwell too much in the loss; instead, cherish the memories you had.

When you didn’t get something you’ve always wanted, just consider that what you’re wishing isn’t for you. It’s either you can’t have it just yet or a grander plan is set for you.

When someone hurts you, just consider it as a opportunity to learn from your experiences and mistakes. You can apply them the next time you encounter the same thing.

When someone doesn’t treat you the same special way you treat the person, just consider it as a way of making other people special without asking the same thing in return. If the person doesn’t give you the level of attention as the person gives to others, just consider that that person is just lucky to have your attention for free. Soon, when you get tired, you would leave, and the person will regret what should have been done. That could be something positive because you have made another person learn a lesson.

When you are stuck in a station all day, working on research papers packed with heavy mathematics but are poorly written, just consider it as an opportunity to learn and improve your intellect by challenging yourself to make the best out of what you are facing. Besides, while you are ranting over your job, others are ranting over not having one.

Now, I say I am lucky. Those people that I love and care for are there for my birthday. They are there everyday. They greeted me with love. Aside from that, a total 107 friends at Facebook posted greeting on my wall for my birthday. I was flooded with 38 text messages full of birthday wishes. Others also tweeted their happy-birthday’s to me. The number aside, I realized that, while I was lamenting over those who don’t love me, a lot of people are already loving me. It’s no use getting your day ruined over, say, seeing a greeting art for another person from the person whom you expected to make one for you and never did. Don’t look for those things that won’t come. Look into those things around you that are forever present.

I am forever thankful to God for giving me loving family and friends. I am nothing without all of you.

Yes, I am blessed. We all are. It is always up to us to see how blessed we always are.

If you don’t feel special for the rest of your life, it may just be because there are a lot of things in front of you that you are missing.